I’ve heard it all in my life. Growing up in church I’ve been taught that if you do X, Y, Z correctly you’ll end up where you’re going to be. But what if where you’re going ends up bringing you to a destination you never wanted, or one you never planned?
I believe with my whole heart that there is a perfect will for each and every one of us, designed by the Father Himself. We all hold the key for whether or not we end up in His will… so does that mean another’s decisions can impact His will? Absolutely.
Let’s think about it for a moment. You’re driving on a highway and come to an intersection. The car to the right of you was supposed to stop at the red light… but they didn’t. You proceed forward with your green light, as they proceed with their red light, and a collision occurs. That person was supposed to stop, but they didn’t, and that in turn affected you causing injuries and a totaled vehicle. Another example: you proceed forward in a relationship with someone that you feel is right, thinking you know who they are. Down the road, the mask falls off, they reveal themselves, and no longer have the desires and beliefs you thought they did. You’re left high and dry wondering where it all went wrong. You put time, tears, and trust into that relationship just for it to end when it wasn’t supposed to. Their decision impacts the life you now have to live, night by night reliving the broken memories and shattered future. A pastor’s wife once told me, that just because someone decides to walk away and live a life of sin, that doesn’t mean the relationship wasn’t the Lord’s will. But God in all His mercy, takes what has been broken, and rewrites a new story for your life, one that will be used to help hundreds and if not thousands down the road. That hurt you feel; The tears you cry night by night; The sickening feeling you get every time a thought crosses your mind of what was; He takes it, and renews the will He has for your life.
Renew, redeem, restore. Some words that have become my favorite here lately.
God never intended on you being made to feel alone and unloved for the rest of your life. Being made to feel as though you don’t matter, and you’re not good enough, by your spouse, or that you’re the one in the wrong when they break down in tears every time you find pictures of pornography. But you still forgive and move on, because that is the heart you have. Narcissistic behavior is ungodly and should be called out for what it is. You’re not naive because you have been raised in church around godly people and training that has taught you to show grace. But at what point, in abusing grace, does grace runout? You can dress a wolf in sheep’s skin, but at some point the sheep’s skin will fall off.
Hebrews 10:26 “For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins.”
Romans 6:1-2 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?”
There’s a lot, growing up in church, that I didn’t know. I didn’t know all of the things that went on between a husband and a wife… understandably so. Therefore, I was lead to feel insufficient by the one I trusted the most, because he knew all about it. I wasn’t trained or experienced in the bedroom (and should not have been), but he was. Some may say this is a subject that shouldn’t be talked about, but if one lady can be protected from the pain I’ve experienced then let the truth be told.
You are NOT insufficient because you have been sheltered.
You have been protected from the pain this world offers, and sheltered for the day that a man who truly treasures you and desires to have a godly relationship with you, that they can have all of you. And if they truly have a sincere heart, then they will love you more because of your sheltered lifestyle. A husband and wife should be able to navigate through marriage together. The sin of pornography puts expectations on a wife that no one can fulfill. This always leads to adultery… no matter how many verses they post, suits they wear, or the Bible they carry. And if you have suspicions of this going on in your marriage, you have every right to obtain a professional Private Investigator in order to protect your testimony. Protecting your testimony is worth it.
2 Timothy 4:5
“But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.”
Truth? Not everyone is sincere with their intentions. Sadly, to some you will be looked at as an experience rather than a partner. I know because I’ve been told these things and experienced them.
I honestly feel as though I should say it again. You are NOT insufficient because of your sheltered lifestyle. And because you have been sheltered, doesn’t mean just anyone can have what you have spent your entire life saving and preparing for. I truly desire for every old and young lady to be made to feel like the treasure they are, and not just another “experience” a man thought that he could take from you. We must pray for discernment, because not every soul that cries tears and speaks words of remorse truly means what they say. Watch their actions, watch their reactions, and pray earnestly for discernment.
You are so precious in the eyes of the Father, and in order to overcome these conversations, we must HAVE these conversations! 💕 You are enough for the man who truly desires the companionship God has placed in every man and woman’s heart! 🙌🏻
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