What I have on my heart this week is not a subject that comes easy.
It’s one that forces us to swallow hard on the memories that we can’t seem to forget, though we wish we could.
One when we can’t fight back the tears each time we are reminded of the circumstances that left us feeling the way we do.
We’ve all had those we loved, looked up to, cared about and respected, who have hurt us.
Judas ate too.
As I’m writing this I am in tears. In my heart I know we are called to forgive, but I can’t forget. I’ve spent countless nights crying out to God to take the pain away; to heal the wounds; to even make the scars disappear. I don’t want any trace of what happened to be left on my life... but we can’t change what’s been done, and we can’t make those that have hurt us understand that pain we feel.
Judas ate too.
(Matt. 26:18-25 KJV) Can you imagine sitting at the table, knowing that the one you were sharing supper with was going to betray you? We all want to be the “good Christian” and say we would do it without question. But knowing that this person was going to sell you for dead, and yet, you still share a seat at the dinner table with him?
I would love to say I could, but I truthfully can’t.
We are not God, this being just one small reason why that is. Jesus being so gracious and forgiving sat with Judas, and he did it with joy on his face. But His heart was broken for him.
Judas ate too.
Judas appeared to be the closest to the Lord as a disciple, yet the Bible says he died lost, “that he might go to his own place”. (John 17:12, Acts 1:25 KJV)
He is a perfect representation of “going to Hell from a church pew”.
How many of you thought someone was true to their word and standards, yet, you were betrayed in the end?
Judas ate too.
None of us are above falling and failure, and in a moment we can lose a lifetime of a testimony we built. (Psalm 139:23-24 KJV “Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts:
24.And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”)
All we can do is call out to an almighty God who is capable of keeping us, but also giving us the strength to forgive and press on. You may never hear the words “I’m sorry”, from that person/people who broke your heart.
God never did and hasn’t, and yet He still chose to die and love us eternally.
I’m speaking to myself as well when I say, that hurt is hurting us when we allow it to swell up. You don’t have to forget, but press on and hand that pain and heartache of the past over to the Redeemer who can make all things new.
You WILL be okay child. 💗
Be who He made you to be, who He called you to be. Follow Him, line your ways up with His word, let your light shine so bright, and IT WILL BE WORTH EVERY MILE!!
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