Let’s talk about memories for a moment. They are things we all have as flesh, and something we cannot control. Whether you’re thinking of a moment in time when you completely embarrassed yourself (we’ve all been there); maybe it’s one of your favorite family vacations, or a day you consider the happiest day of your life; or maybe, it’s a moment in time where you lost someone special to you, or everything you once believed in fell apart at the seams… we’ve all been there. Those moments are engraved in our minds till the end of time, as much as we like it or not, they’re not going anywhere. ..
In order for me to speak from my heart and be a help as best as I can, I feel as though I should give my personal testimony. I have memories I love and will cherish till the end of time. I grew up as a Pastor’s daughter, and I am the 2nd oldest of 6. Being raised in the ministry has been the biggest blessing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, even though at times it can break your heart the most. The principles and truths that were instilled in me as a child, have remained true as I’ve gotten older… even as I personally faced something that shook my faith and my world truly fell apart.
Last year, Feb. 16, I was hit by an ambulance on my way home from church on a Sunday night. Being on the passenger side, I received full impact. I spent 2 weeks in the top trauma hospital in ATL, GA. I underwent 3 surgeries, multiple blood transfusions, and countless tests. My right hip was crushed and my femur shattered, causing me to have total hip reconstruction. 2 other surgeries were exploratory and were to stop the internal bleeding I had upon arriving at the hospital… I almost bled to death. I sustained 4 broke ribs, partial upper left facial paralysis, and multiple contusions throughout my skull causing my brain to separate from my skull, therefore causing a CSF leak. I recall being moved from bed to table for tests, moaning in pain, and then I would fall back asleep. I didn’t fully realize what all had taken place until the second half of the 2 weeks I was there, because of how much medication I had to be given for pain.
Upon leaving the hospital, I then had to learn to walk all over again. I lived 3 months sleeping in a recliner, spent 2 months learning mobility in a wheelchair, and then 5 months on crutches. I went from being the person who was the most afraid of Dr. Offices and Hospitals, to practically living at them. I have been given future surgeries and expectancies that I never dreamed I would be told, but here I am. I was truly at my weakest point spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
August 14, 2020, 6 months after my accident, my husband abandoned me for extramarital affairs. Weeks after that I found that those things were going on months prior to him leaving, along with accounts of pornography... I was broken. I was scheduled for a surgery the next month and the reality of facing it alone, as well as all of my other medical needs, it truly shattered me to the core.
With each passing day, I longed for the night to come, because at night I could steal away, cry, and no one would notice. I longed for night because I would sit on my bed, crying out to the Lord as to why this would happen to me? At a moment when a relationship should grow stronger, mine fell apart. At a time when you are excited for the future, I longed for rest, peace, and eternal peace. I longed for something my earthly body wouldn’t hold. Those dreams I once had, died the day of my accident, and they were gone for good.
We all have a story, one that has its moments of sunshine, and others, its moments of clouds. Every chapter we look back on, is a memory, or if you would, a milestone. They can be painful to look on, because you see pain. Maybe you are going through something similar as I, or a storm of your own. People all through the Old Testament built altars (means a communion with God and also a place of sacrifice). Those altars would be put in places of memoriam of what the Lord brought them through. They remembered how far they had come to get where they are today. Those memories, or milestones… may we let them be altars in our life that we can look back to and remember who brought us through and how far we’ve come! May we let those moments bring us to our knees because those weak moments are what mold us into the Christians we are called to be. May the people we come in contact with also see those altars in our life, to look upon and be encouraged that the Lord will always be a faithful friend to us when none can be found, even for years to come! Embrace those memories and create altars!
1 Samuel 7:12 Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the LORD helped us .